When you discover a new term for something… A while back, I’m speaking with a fifty-ish woman, sparkling silver scarf wrapped round her neck. She’s a little shy, but attempting to open herself to connections. Somewhat new-ish to kink and very much brand new to polyamory (yes, some of the conversation is embellished for the …
There’s a story about the North Wind, the Sun, and a Man in a Coat. The man is the object which the Cloud and Sun are attempting to manipulate the Man to remove his Coat. The North Wind blows and blows but the Man only pulls his Coat closer round himself. The Sun gently smiles …
the sun, the north wind, and the man in the coat Read More »
Six Reasons Why a Person Can be Monogamous From Insecurity to Boredom The idea that it’s impossible to only love one person at a time is a myth. From insecurity to desperation, these are 6 of the most common reasons people can stop falling in love after one person. When my patients ask me this …
I recently became inspired to consider the connections between shame, guilt, humiliation, and degradation. As my master is Jewish, and our oldest daughter is devout enough for High Holy Days, I attended Yom Kippur services with them both. The rabbi’s speech centered around two concepts, Shame and Guilt. At one point he started labeling some things as …
relationship between shame, guilt, humiliation, and degradation, the Read More »
Want Some Guidance on Getting Started? If you wish to be the sort that lives the traditional, vanilla married couple life, you may well get along without much in the way of expectations management. Though I don’t believe it’s ideal, as I see far too many memes of clearly upset wives whose husbands do not …
how to manage expectations in a polyamorous relationship: a general guide Read More »
Ah, honesty! We speak of honesty and authenticity as this beautiful, wonderful, desired thing. Which it is to many. It can be utterly freeing to drop the facade and be one’s “true” self (after all, our selves may change, and we may not have “one true self”). But it can also be terrifying. Honesty can …
what does she want, you ask? She wants to be SEEN, and she wants to be LOVED for everything inside of her. She wants to be SAFE. She wants to feel DESIRED. ….it is what we all want. The essentials. Regardless of sex, gender, identity. Give that to a person, and they will be yours …
Sit up, look pretty Dress the part Become the life She’s dressed to the nines, Hair, clothes, makeup, nails, stilettos She fits into her world just as she pleases Life is simple in a doll’s house A doll’s world Where everything is neat and tidy She knows she has to eventually fold up her Silver …
Am I polyamorous? So many ways to interpret the question. Some people want the word to mean anything and everything. Bit frustrating. I got this all the time, as a queer person, when it came to defining bisexuality. Meeting women who said they were bi, but meant, “I like to make out with women in …
Welcome to the, “Do You Want A Threesome?” Test! Sure, you’ve been told things like “Every guy wants a threesome!” and “Who wouldn’t want a threesome?” But there are some godawful threesomes happening right this very moment– and a basic compatibility test might do folk a world of good! Ready? Let’s dive in! I want …