When you discover a new term for something… A while back, I’m speaking with a fifty-ish woman, sparkling silver scarf wrapped round her neck. She’s a little shy, but attempting to open herself to connections. Somewhat new-ish to kink and very much brand new to polyamory (yes, some of the conversation is embellished for the […]
balancing the “gap” in polyamory Read More »
There’s a story about the North Wind, the Sun, and a Man in a Coat. The man is the object which the Cloud and Sun are attempting to manipulate the Man to remove his Coat. The North Wind blows and blows but the Man only pulls his Coat closer round himself. The Sun gently smiles
the sun, the north wind, and the man in the coat Read More »
Six Reasons Why a Person Can be Monogamous From Insecurity to Boredom The idea that it’s impossible to only love one person at a time is a myth. From insecurity to desperation, these are 6 of the most common reasons people can stop falling in love after one person. When my patients ask me this
if we talked about monogamy like polyamory Read More »
“Choose to be authentic. Choose happiness.” That’s easy enough to say when you’re privileged. Authenticity isn’t a choice for everyone. Some of us can only (freely) do it if others CHOOSE to support us. Some of us must be content with living authentically amongst those we trust Remember that, and be kind.
authenticity isn’t a choice for us all Read More »
I recently became inspired to consider the connections between shame, guilt, humiliation, and degradation. As my master is Jewish, and our oldest daughter is devout enough for High Holy Days, I attended Yom Kippur services with them both. The rabbi’s speech centered around two concepts, Shame and Guilt. At one point he started labeling some things as
relationship between shame, guilt, humiliation, and degradation, the Read More »
Sometimes I see exclusive associated with rare or valuable, but to me exclusive reminds me of Pretentious Elitist Racist (“whites only” locations) Snobby Unobtainable Small Marketing Unaffordable Distant Reserved for the wealthy and privileged An exclusive restaurant I cannot afford. An exclusive experience I’ll never have, because I don’t have the “right” connections or wasn’t
what “exclusive” means to me Read More »
Was it worth it? The birthday party. The mediocre houses, mediocre summer house, mediocre friends. The afternoon getting drunk at a bar before that concert. I hope they were great fucking drinks considering the price you paid for them. She called you names So you had to get her back He lied to you, so
i hope it was fucking worth it Read More »
I talk about love and romance quite a lot, but it’s true Which is why I’m allowing myself to take a moment and address a small, but sincere, pet peeve of mine: I despise the term “lopsided relationship.” What the hell does that even mean? Romantic partners aren’t Christmas ornaments. You don’t have to make
there’s more to life than romance Read More »
Want Some Guidance on Getting Started? If you wish to be the sort that lives the traditional, vanilla married couple life, you may well get along without much in the way of expectations management. Though I don’t believe it’s ideal, as I see far too many memes of clearly upset wives whose husbands do not
how to manage expectations in a polyamorous relationship: a general guide Read More »
Ah, honesty! We speak of honesty and authenticity as this beautiful, wonderful, desired thing. Which it is to many. It can be utterly freeing to drop the facade and be one’s “true” self (after all, our selves may change, and we may not have “one true self”). But it can also be terrifying. Honesty can
when honesty isn’t a positive Read More »