As the old year winds down and the new year approaches, this is one of my commitments to myself. I feel this is quite a lot, considering I don’t generally like rules. I am breaking my own standard to create a new rule, at least for myself. The Golden Rule: Treat others how YOU want …
ruby rule: when you treat people better than you want to be treated, the Read More »
Feelings are a funny thing. I understand this is becoming more and more common wisdom. I’m grateful for this. Feelings shouldn’t be confused for fact. Still, I don’t believe we can talk about this too much. Because how you feel is real. How she feels is real. How he feels is real. Those feelings could …
“You’ll find them when you stop looking.” I heard those words. I heard them as I was busy in the middle of abandoning yet another project, ambition, etc. I’m notoriously bad at finishing (well, not that kind of finishing!). I’m fine with beginnings. I get excited about new ideas– and then I forget about them. …
to those who say, “you’ll find them when you stop looking” Read More »
She’s worried, as we’re speaking, What if I have a wonderful time with you? What if we decide to try a second date? What if we want…a relationship? Something more. Something real. What if it’s not just some stupid, silly fling? She continues, sincerely puzzled, but with no ill intent. She asks, How does that …
handling the “I want to be your friend, but I’m scared of it turning into more…” talk Read More »
Abused people, abuse people. I’ve heard that a lot. It’s easy to find yourself trapped in that mentality. As angry as I’ve gotten at my ex-metamour, I know that she’s mostly repeating what her own mother did to her. This is what she believes love looks like. It’s what she’s known. Abused people, abuse people. …
“focus on the feeling,” his voice is smooth, low, there are a lot of problems but they don’t exist now. “The only thing that matters is the feeling,” his fingers brush over the silkiness that is my body, swelling curves, gently emanating heat. it’s true. this is all that matters, now and always. all the …
Kink, I think, is play. What else defines it apart from “vanilla”? After all, kink may not necessarily involve whips, chains, stilettos, or anything the 50 Shades culture associates with kink. Kink, I hope!, is not a means of feeling superior or enlightened. Nor using code words to make others feel disconnected from the conversation. …
free play vs. game play: a distilled approach to kink Read More »
I am not a little. I actually rather looked down on the DD/lg dynamic. I allowed others to encourage me to be dismissive of littles. Littles, brats, ugh. Just grown (usually) women who couldn’t take care of themselves. But as time went on, not only did I make friends with brats and littles, but I …
my life as a “middle,” OR what it means to have “middle tendencies” Read More »
Some people need to learn to be a “me.” They’ve never been on their own. Don’t even know what it means to be themselves, apart from a Romantic Other. Suddenly find themselves cast on their own and…have no clue. Utterly adrift, no direction, no purpose. It’s scary. Others need to learn to be a “we.” …
Congratulations! Hey, it was tough, but you managed it. You found Him. The perfect dom and monogamous! I mean, how often do you stumble across that? But you caught this one! You found your perfect match. Your one true love (at least for now. S/he is the perfect, monogamous dom(me) who does it for desire– …