I found a pretty solid “how to do vanilla romance.” I modified it every so slightly– and it worked for polyamorous relationships, too! So this is also my Polyamorous Manifesto. This guideline includes no reference to anything kinky; no swinging, spanking, anal sex– “But none of that is kinky!” you interrupt. To which I politely …
poly? kinky? relationships are just relationships: my vanilla manifesto Read More »
A conversation between myself and someone who doesn’t understand polyamory… “What’s your favorite ice cream?” “Uh, I guess cookies and cream. At least lately.” “Okay, so you only want cookies and cream from now on?” “Uh, no. What?” “If you really like cookies and cream, you should only want 🍪 and🍦.” “I’m sorry what? What …
I hear about people’s escapades after they put kids to bed, but how do they do it? My friend asks. I mean, isn’t it loud? Good question. For anyone curious how to make it work, for anyone who struggles with this and wonders who the ‘successful’ people do it— well, I don’t wonder anymore. These …
Note: It’s possible that doms can experience a form of drop, but this is really about sub drop. I’ve read, time and time again, about sub drop. Which is great that we talk about it. But also— we kinda talk about it like it’s something we indulge in simply because we feel like it. “I …
Dear Valentine’s Day, First off, I apologize on behalf of the humanity who will inevitably poop all over you. Jealousy that nobody bought them pink chocolates or ruffled cards? Can’t celebrate a holiday without involving massive amounts of panic and stress? Oh, it doesn’t matter. No, you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some prefer other holidays …
You’re a silly, stupid, spoiled bitch my critical inner voice whispers. What, getting ninety percent of what you want isn’t enough for you? My beauty whispers to me, Of course it’s enough. It’s enough, I’m enough, you’re enough. I should listen to her kindness, her unabashed love towards me. But I don’t want “enough.” I want more. I want …
when you get almost everything you want, AKA the stupid, spoiled bitch syndrome Read More »
I come home most days to a person I love, to whom I’m committed in life and love. I would venture to say most of us do, or hope to one day. Pair-bonding is natural with social creatures; humans are social; easier to bond and share time when you share same space. It’s nice to live with the one you love, or can be. But the writing made me want to puke.
“What is love,” someone asked me. “You mean being in love, or love itself?” “Both?” Well, let me ponder that. “Being ‘in love’ is an infatuation. At least, it appears so. It’s used by the same sort of people, in my experience, as those who use phrases like ‘protect the relationship’ or ‘I give 100% …
Well, after all, most dom(mes) are like that, right? None of us are perfect. It’s really hard to be a dominant. Don’t judge them, you don’t even know what it’s like to do what they do. We shouldn’t blame a submissive’s bad experience on the dom(me). Submissives need to seek whatever help they need in …
Okay, so you understand red flags, negative traits, green flags, positive traits. You’ve just met the person. Initially, they do something that sets off your spidey senses. They showed up late to your first date, come on! After that, though, they never show up late again and you live happily ever after. Red flag averted. …
lessons on “green flags”: pt 2: how do you know if it’s real? Read More »