Heat. Fire play is actually more about heat than it is flames. One feels the sensation, without being burned. The fire warms the body (and sometimes implements, such as fire cups). It provides the most amazing subspace (at least for me). It can be low risk, though it is never without risk. I personally engage …
Vegas Golden Knights are killing it, and I’m excited because, well, I’ve never had a team before, not locally. Plus, I’m starting to get into hockey this past decade. So when a new team arose like a phoenix, burning a path behind it, well, cool! They’re even better now than before, when they were comprised …
I believed them. I thought they knew better than myself, I was silly, stupid, and what did I know? I had no validation through credentials, awards, or any measurable success. …I saw them as smart, efficient, capable. I admired their strength, their knowledge. I suppose a bit too much, as it blinded me to their …
forgiveness, nostalgia, and the things I loved about my abusers Read More »
Still the best love song… Some say love, it is a river That drowns the tender reed Some say love, it is a razor That leaves your soul to bleed Some say love, it is a hunger An endless aching need I say love, it is a flower And you, its only seed It’s …
aftercare is what we provide to our partners “afterwards,” whatever that means loving, gentle or isolation, or whatever we need “afterwards,” whenever that “afterwards” occurs my “after” happens very quickly, a snuggle, water that magically appears by my side when I hold out my hand, eyes still closed until they can stand light, any light, …
I rewatched the scene from Bojack Horseman where Princess Carolyn refuses to let her ex-boyfriend help her raise this baby she’s trying to adopt. Inadvertently, she convinces the birth mother that she, too, can do it all on her own, “All you need is love!” My friend just gave birth to a baby boy. She …
“all you need to be a mom is love” is utter bullshit Read More »
Greed is normal, jealousy is normal. But what does “normal” even mean? Is it what is common? What is natural? What is right? I go to a doctor, I say I’m feeling “normal” today. My chronic pain is “normal.” That, of course, differs from those with lesser or greater chronic pain. It is, however, normal …
Breathing, deep breaths What I have with my little ones though they’d hate to be called that now, but they always will be to me Is precious, rare More-so than some ordinary diamond I am their “ama” now We celebrated together, muted, perhaps, but sincere A beautiful memory of an evening I earned that Something …
Jealousy is a powerful driver. It can consume and destroy lives. I still remember the oldest munchkin, then age 6, sighing as she shook her head, “Jealousy.” (We were talking about her biological mother, and she brought the word up, not me.) But her mother feels jealousy over her children. I am at a loss …
Swish, she flings her perfect creamy legs out in front of her, then swish back again. If I can stay here forever in this perfect moment, she thinks. He is watching her, she knows, but she is not ready to come in. She keeps swinging in perfect rhythm. The soft pink and gold glow sinks below the lake. …